A Week Already?

It's been a week since I've written. Last week's post wasn't really an update on me though. So let's see..


After Adam and I broke up, I immediately picked up books that I felt would surely tell me how to know God intimately and how to have the right spirit, to develop His heart as my own, and so on. But last week as I was reading one of these, I felt God kind of nudge me on the shoulder and say, "Don't you think that the best way to know me is through MY Word?" I put the book down and picked up the Bible instead. I started at the beginning, and today I finished reading through the complete book of Genesis. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like those books aren't helpful and inspiring. They offer a lot of insight and I still plan to read them some time. But right now I want to focus on the marvelous things He has done since the beginning of time.

Reading through Genesis has opened my eyes. How amazing our Lord is! He was right there with Noah, Abraham, Jacob, and Joseph, every day of their lives and promised them great things if only they would trust and serve Him. But how much more amazing it is that it is still the same way for us now, today. He is with me every day, and promises me many blessings, if only I will trust Him. Why is it so hard? Even though I know His ways are better, I'm still so stubborn and mess up every day. Some days I feel so discouraged at how much I mess up. I wonder how He can continue to love me when I know I'm so disappointing. I have to constantly remind myself that our idea of love is nothing like His, and while I feel like I'm inadequate, He sees me as perfect because He created me.

It's hard for me to read stories of the Bible that I've heard so many times before, and think of them as REAL. That they really happened; these were real people on this earth, this ground. I like to look outside at the sun and the sky and think, "This is the same exact sun that Noah himself looked at, and the same sky that was above Joseph," etc. Even though those men are famous among Christians and we read and hear about them all the time, they were just men that God chose to use. Just people like you and me. It makes me think... I wonder what God would do with me if only I were willing? If only I would yield?




Please pray for me as I make a HUGE decision regarding 1/2 of my summer. It would be something that would make me get out of my comfort zone completely, not just with people, but with food, housing, culture, etc. I'm having a hard time discerning God's will with this (or maybe I'm too scared..?)




How can I pray for you?